I recently had a sale on nine of my masterclasses, five bundles and a program from 2022 (you can view what's now on offer here).

It’s fair to say that the favourite masterclass was BJ like a BOSS. I kid you not—the sales from this masterclass tripled the second most popular masterclass. 
This made me realise that women want to learn how to give great blowjobs, and I’m 100% here for it. I mean, the name makes it seem like work, and for some women, it can feel like a job, but it’s my duty to change this narrative. It’s time to make one of the sexiest acts something that feels empowering, embodied and fun for the givers as well. 

So you want to know some hot, steamy blow job techniques? You’ve cum to the right place! Whether you’re here to improve your techniques, pick a few new ones or rekindle your love for the almighty BJ, I’m excited to share five tips that your sex ed class probably didn’t cover!

 1. Build up gradually to mouth penetration

There is no need to get down there and start sucking hard and fast. Build it up a little. Wet your hand and slowly stroke him whilst kissing the tip of his penis. This is a super sensitive area, just like the clitoris. Tease his penis by making out with the tip like you would his lips. The sensation of your wet lips kissing over the head of his penis will drive him wild and have him begging you for full coverage.

 2. Make eye contact

A huge part of why a blow job is such a sexy turn-on is the visual aspect of your partner seeing his cock moving in and out of your mouth. Adding eye contact is a super sexy way of connecting with him as you’re doing it. 
It doesn’t have to be a long deer-in-the-headlights stare. It can be a quick, sensual half-eye gaze up before you look back down. You may like to have your eyes closed as you take one long lick up the shaft (underside) of his penis, and then open them as you get to the top with a cheeky wink or smile.

 3. Dirty talk

Telling your partner what you love about them whilst giving them head is one hell of a combo! Think about compliments: how they taste, how they smell, how they feel in your mouth/hand and what you love about their cock. This is a powerful way of calling them into their masculine energy.
Another type of dirty talk is telling them how it’s making you feel to have this much control over them, how turned on you are, how much you don’t want this to end, and how much enjoyment you’re getting out of it. Of course, make it genuine. 
Finally, you can also explore more guided dirty talk, telling your partner what to do. “I want you to take a deep breath and really feel the sensations of my tongue running up and down your cock” or “relax into this as much as you can, this is all for you.” These are like permission slips for your partner to fully be present in the moment. 

4. Full-body pleasure

Although you’re busy pleasuring his cock, remember that his whole body is full of erogenous zones. Move your hands around his body to find those delicious zones that bring more sensitivity to the experience. You can even ask him what his favourite spots are. Add slow sensual touch, maybe a few light kisses, finger-tip massage or gentle blowing. Explore playing with his balls or even anal pleasure (don’t forget lube!) if he’s into that. 

5. Use your hands

Hand-and-mouth combos are another super sexy way to bring in more pleasure and sensitivity to the experience. Think of your mouth as providing wetness and warmth and your hands as providing deeper stimulation and tightness. If your jaw starts to feel sore or tired, a few minutes of ‘handwork’ can give you a rest.

A basic stroke to help build up the tension:

• Make sure you either have lube or saliva on your hand
• Interlace your hands and wrap them around his shaft, your thumbs on the underside of his penis
• Move your hands up and down the penis keeping the lock
• You may want to add some ‘making out with the tip’ kisses for a bit of fun

Feel free to mix up your hand techniques. Check out this reel with a few of the best hand job techniques. 

With any sexual act, you should only do things that are a yes for you. Communicate openly with your lover and make sure you are both on the same page. Do you expect to receive pleasure afterwards, or is this something you are solely giving to your partner? Your partner may not be into oral sex, and that’s totally okay as well. 

On a final note, get into your body with this, and try your best not to overthink the techniques or what your lover is thinking. Focus on your own experience and ask yourself, how could I make this feel more empowering for me? Your partner will feel that energy from you!

And if you're interested to learn more tips and tricks about how to give epic blowjobs, check out The Classroom by Melissa Vranjes. There is a 1.5hr workshop called BJ like a Boss that will give you the exact tools and techniques to make his rocket launch *wink*.

Melissa Vranjes
Certified holistic sex coach, sex educator and creator of The Classroom by Melissa Vranjes. A monthly holistic sex ed membership for better sex, relationships and intimacy. She teaches women how to feel sexually liberated with a focus on embodiment, confidence and practical tools to support them. Melissa’s work regularly appears in publications including Grazia, Fashion Quarterly NZ, Body & Soul, Women’s health and YahooLifestyle.