Understanding The 4 Centres Of The Body


When we talk about choosing a partner whether that is casual, serious, short-term, or long-term it is important to check in with the body. When we talk about a full-body yes it means that all of these centres have a green light a.k.a there is a connection or there’s a yes.

It’s also ok not to have all of these centres connected and I’ll go into that as well because sometimes we’re not looking for a full-body yes.

Let’s get into what these 4 centres are:


We are asking ourselves, is there a mental connection, what is my mind telling me about this person, do I feel connected to them, grounded and secure or do I feel like I’m all over the place, I’m uncertain and I’m constantly feeling unstable.

Heart Connection

When we talk about the heart connection we are asking ourselves do I feel expanded with love, connection, openness, safety in my heart OR do I feel shut down, disconnected, uncertain and closed off with no love.


When talking about the belly we are talking about our intuition, do you feel like a fuck yes in your belly and like everything is just ‘right’ or does it feel like something is off and you’re unsure what it is, you can’t put your finger on it, something just isn’t right – lots of people ignore this one, I did 


This is your sex centre, this is when we ask ourselves, do you feel like your pussy comes alive around this person, is their sexual attraction, do you want to fuck them, do you want to have sex with them, do you feel wet, excited and turned on OR do you feel like that area of your body is closed off for business, you’re dry, you don’t want to have sex with that person, the idea may even put you off.

Checking in with these areas of the body is important if you are wanting to have full connected, juicy, deep, play, hot sexual experiences and partners that align with you.

What Now?

If one of these connections is missing for you, it could be a no or it feels like something is off, it can give you a lot of insight as to why things may be feeling a little disconnected in your relationship or why you’re not feeling someone that you’re dating. This can help you communicate what you may need to feel connected in that area so that you can have that conversation with your partner.

The process is to ask yourself do I feel connected in my….or do I feel a yes in this area of my body. And if not you can start investigating, for example….why don’t I feel an F yes in my pussy, is that something to do with my own trauma, patterning, blockages or is there something else there. Ask your pussy, do you want to receive this partner or lover. If it’s a no then you can explore why, grab your journal and start writing some things down, maybe even placing your hand over your pussy and opening up communication with her. What do you need, why are you scared, what is shutting you down…this is getting into the somatics of the body

Sometimes when you’re out to a club and you see someone who’s really hot it’s like oh I just want to fuck that guy or girl but there may be no other connection you just want to sleep with them, is this ok? YES. If that’s all you’re looking for then why not? But there is still mindfulness or consciousness in this decision. You are aware that you are doing that, you’re not ignoring your centres, there is an intention for just sex and there’s nothing wrong with that. But that is ultimately a decision that you are consciously making.

If you’re with a partner now ask yourself if you have a yes in each of these centres and if you don’t you can explore that. It doesn’t all of a sudden mean they aren’t for you or you’re with the wrong person there could be something there that hasn’t been spoken about or something that you may need to work on.

Be brave and explore, trust what your body tells you, if you’ve never communicated to your body in this way it will take a bit of practice just like meditation. Trust what comes up, no you’re not making that up it’s your body’s way of communicating to you. Listen in deeply, close your eyes and listen to the whispers of your body. Keep practicing and like I said, journaling can really help you unravel the inner wisdom of the body.

You can use the 4 centre check-in for anything, a job, house, partner, event, business collaboration, or sexual experience, it’s such a great way to bring your body into the experiences.

Want to take your learning to the next level? Join us for The Classroom by Melissa Vranjes™ “Your monthly membership to better sex, intimacy and relationships.”

Much love, Melissa xx

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